Monday, August 07, 2006

It's The Olmert & Peretz Show!! Tonite's episode: Who's in Beirut?

Well I intended to write a latest news oriented post about Israel. Then I find out there is no latest news except for the continuing Abbott and Costello routine of the Prime Minister Olmert and Defense Minister Peretz. Apparently, 1 week after I first heard about the plan to push to the Litani, Costello has approved one but Abbott hasn’t ordered it into action yet. Thinking about it, I guess that explains the indecision within the Israeli government. I would guess that Olmert and Peretz are in an infinite "Who's on first" loop:

Olmert: Defense Minister Peretz, we have to get rid of the terror leaders in our region. Tell me where they are and their names.
Peretz: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give terrorist leaders nowadays very peculiar names in the Israeli Defense Ministry.
Olmert: Funny names?
Peretz: Nicknames, pet names. Now, in our region Who's in Beirut, What's in Damascus, I Don't Know is in Tehran ---
Olmert: That's what I want to find out; I want you to tell me the names of the terrorist leaders in our region.
Peretz: I'm telling you: Who's in Beirut, What's in Damascus, I Don't Know is in Tehran.
Olmert: You know their names?
Peretz: Yes.
Olmert: Well, then, who's in Beirut?
Peretz: Yes.
Olmert: I mean the terrorist leader in Beirut’s name.
Peretz: Who.
Olmert: The terrorist leader in Beirut.
Peretz: Who is in Beirut.
Olmert: Well what are you askin' me for?
Peretz: I'm not asking you---I'm telling you: Who is in Beirut.
Olmert: I'm asking you---who's in Beirut?
Peretz: That's the man's name!
Olmert: That's who's name?
Peretz: Yes.
Olmert: Well go ahead and tell me.
Peretz: Who.
Olmert: The guy in Beirut.
Peretz: Who.
Olmert: The terror leader in Beirut!
Peretz: Who is in Beirut!
Olmert: Is there a terror leader in Beirut?
Peretz: Certainly!
Olmert: Then who's leading the terrorists in Beirut?
Peretz: Absolutely!
Olmert: When you try to bomb the terror mastermind in Beirut, who gets the bombs?
Peretz: Every one of them! And why not, the man's entitled to them.
Olmert: Who is?
Peretz: Yes.
Olmert: So who gets the bombs?
Peretz: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his underlings get them.
Olmert: Who's underlings?
Peretz: Yes. After all, the man deserves it.
Olmert: Who does?
Peretz: Absolutely.
Olmert: All I'm trying to find out is what's the Islamo-fascist’s name in Beirut.
Peretz: Oh, no, no, What is in Damascus.
Olmert: I'm not asking you who's in Damascus.
Peretz: Who's in Beirut.
Olmert: That's what I'm trying to find out!
Peretz: Well, don't change the terror leaders around!
Olmert: I'm not changing nobody!
Peretz: Now, take it easy.
Olmert: What's the guy's name in Beirut?
Peretz: What's the guy's name in Damascus.
Olmert: I'm not askin' ya who's in Damascus.
Peretz: Who's in Beirut.
Olmert: I don't know.
Peretz: He's in Tehran. We're not talking about him.
Olmert: How did I get in Tehran?
Peretz: You mentioned his name.
Olmert: If I mentioned the Tehran terrorist leader's name, who did I say is in Tehran?
Peretz: No, Who's in Beirut.
Olmert: Stay outta Beirut, will ya?!
Peretz: Well, what do you want me to do?
Olmert: Now what's the guy's name in Tehran?
Peretz: What's in Damascus.
Olmert: I'm not asking ya who's in Damascus.
Peretz: Who's in Beirut.
Olmert: I don't know.
Peretz: He's in Tehran.
Olmert: There I go, back in Tehran again.
Peretz: Well, I can't change their names.
Olmert: Will you please stay in Tehran?
Peretz: Please. Now what is it you want to know?
Olmert: What is the fellow's name in Tehran.
Peretz: What is the fellow's name in Damascus.
Olmert: I'm not askin' ya who's in Damascus!
Peretz: Who's in Beirut.
Olmert: I don't know.
Peretz & Olmert: Tehran!

Almost four weeks later and they still can't agree on who's in Beirut. Funny on the little screen, tragic in real life.

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